[transmission from... Jermaine Fowler]
If you thought things couldn’t get worse for Tony De
Nikos, think again. On Friday night, De
Nikos performed at
College Perk Coffee House in College Park, Maryland. The outcome was pitiful with a crowd full of family members, pothead
groupies, and his dog Skip.
Tony arrived at the coffee shop 4 hours late drunk as all hell with a bottle of Whiskey
in one hand and his beaten guitar in the other. “It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. He didn’t look like the Power Blues
Folk Rocker his ads said he’d be!” says Rubin Laggasho, a spectator.
After opening with a few fart jokes and an emotional
breakdown he began to half-ass all of his songs. “What the fuck is wrong with Tony!” rants Rubin. Then Tony does the unthinkable,
he hits his dog, Skip, in the face with his guitar out the window to the busy highway. “The dog didn’t do shit!” yells Laggasho.
After that act, he pulls the cable out of the speaker and says, “Right now I’m going to play acoustically. And if
you can’t hear in the back... Fuck You! Where’s my damn dog?” asks De
Nikos. Tony then starts to hallucinate and think
one of the crowd members is stealing the show by doing a guitar solo so he chases the child outside which went on for most
of the night. After the crowd walked out on De
Nikos he blocks the exit and begins to urinate on all of his family and
groupies screaming, “Where’s my dog!” What else can we expect from this down and out performer?
