[transmission from... Tyler Richardson]

Hey everybody, it's Tyler Richardson again. It's been so long since we've had a sit down and I can barely remember what you look like anymore. Are you still beautiful? Did you grow your hair long? Remember how you used to shove a whole Snickers bar in your mouth and almost choke before you finally got it down your throat... good times. But, I come to you with a list of things that I think you need to see. Compile your own list and let someone important know all the things that you would do if you could. As for me, "If I could I would..."

1. Grab a peach and chuck it at the first pretty girl that I saw.
2. Surprise a homeless person with a million dollars.
3. Tell 13 year old Tyler to be a prick to girls at an earlier age...they like that.
4. Never listen to a single song by Shaggy.
5. Grow a ponytail just to be confused with a pimp.
6. Find out who wrote "Roll Bounce" and stab his dog.... and yes, then him.
7. Be the first person to own an iPhone.(cause they're f'n cool man)
8. Jump into Gears of War and start killing those mofos for real.
9. Own an Escalade and see if random ho's come out of nowhere to listen to rap music and let me pour Cristal down their bodies.
10. Same as #9 but a Bentley.... come on folks that just cool.
11. Get my mother to rap the lyrics to "Throw some D's" in it's entirety.
12. Date Queen Latifah to make Mo'Nique jealous. BBW's are in, baby!
13. Quit every bad habit that I have...except weed.
14. Travel back in time to stop Nick Cannon's birth. He's NOT funny, damnit.
15. Get a pool full of Beefaroni and tell no one.
16. Meet my Aunt who died before I was born, I hear that we're very alike.
17. Test to be an astronaut, I thought that the screening would catch someone like me...
18. See #9 again.... we're almost done.
19. Treat two specific women better than I did. They know who they are.
20. Keep my mother and grandmother alive forever cause I can't imagine the alternative.
21. Have time to watch the Matrix Trilogy then follow it with LOTR trilogy.
22. Balance my budget better.
23. Do Whores... who happen to have brought me free weed. YAY!

Well, that's one for every year that I've lived and the list was getting too long to keep people's attention. Hope you all have your own list brewing and I'll catch you laters....

[transmission from... Alex Kain]

I don't know if this is a common thing with creative types, but I see this spoof game trailer here and, deep down, I wonder if there are actually developers out there who think this sort of 'gameplay' is actually fun.



Personally, I can't contain my laughter when the narrator says "CUBE!" Like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.