[tyler sonnichsen]
Here you go, patrons, in all their short-term reunited
for a good cause glory... Washington's finest D-Plan! They didn't play "Memory Machine" last night, as my title would suggest, but their first
show back together in 4 years was nothing short of stellar. They even had an erotic cake they passed through the audience.
I think writing any more about the experience of seeing one of the greatest bands of all time in a packed house would be a
disservice to it all, so here are some photos.
My man Travis Morrison, unleashing it. I don't know which song this was, but it could have been several.
Jason, Eric's head, and Joe. Jason Caddell's got this Bob Ross thing going on now, as one fucking annoying kid in the crowd
loudly observed when they got onstage. Probably one of the greatest rhythm sections ever.
I meant to take this one of Eric and Travis all blurry and artistic and whatever. Hope you enjoyed these. Suck it, Pitchfork,
I beat your asses to it.
[Tyler Sonnichsen]
Do you ever find yourself running late? Find yourself dying to know when you can expect that elusive next bus but not sure
how long you have before you need to be at the stop? Over all, do you enjoy being able to broadcast your excessive wealth
every time somebody asks you for the time, but that 10K Rolex just doesn't cut it? Do you have
$507,000 burning a hole
in your pocket?
Well, the Swiss (surprise!) artisans of timecraftery Vacheron -Constantin have created only the finest in completely unnecessary
timepieces- THE SKELETON MINUTE REPEATER!!
I'll bet you're thinking, surely anything with "skeleton" in its name has to be completely badass and have a legitimate reason
to exist. Well, one out of two ain't bad! There are only 15 of these in the world, so you'd better jump on this startling
cluster of alligator skin, hands made of 18K oxidized black gold, a bunch of soldered lugs hand-polished by artisans hired
for that sole purpose, platinum casing, and a button on the side that makes the watch chime the time in a sequence of hours,
minutes, and seconds. Apparently, that's what Napoleon liked in his watches, since he spent so much time in the dark. Glad
to see that worked out for him.
Seriously, if you ever see anyone wearing this watch, knock them unconscious, sell the SMR and end one small country's hunger
problem. You'll still have enough left for a pretty decent pocketwatch.
I hate Eric Clapton.
