Busy day, but I wanted to spread the distraction. Here are a few things that are awesome, and I don't think
need any explanation.
German guy makes chocolate records! Feeding into both a stereotype and his stomach. They
need to press "Chocolate City" on one of these.
My cousin used to drive a jeep not unlike this one. I feel bad we never
unlocked its potential.
And, the Caps are on a 7-game winning streak. They shot a hot one into
the Islanders' eyes last night, 7-2. Alexander Semin did this thing here that he does fairly often, which is make other players
look like they shouldn't be in the NHL. Alright, I'm out for a few.
I'll Bet I Can Name 30 Current Artists Lady Gaga is Better Than
[tws]
Lady Gaga, while talented and having a knack for good pop songs, still pumps out a repertoire of stupid songs
that are about less than nothing. That being said, I would rather listen to her than the following "real" bands
and "musical artists" that are within earshot of the Billboard charts at the moment.
It's not often that I'll take to this website to admit being wrong, and even less when someone proves
me wrong by directly contradicting my previous points. Considering how the person to whom I owe an apology will probably never
read this, I've decided to publicly admit I was wrong in a bold statement last year.
During my season-end, one-fan's
evaluation of the Capitals after their painful game 7 loss to the Penguins during the Eastern Semifinals, I was a little perturbed
about the play of one Jeff Schultz. He was 6'6" but couldn't seem to use the body. He was drafted ahead of Mike Green,
but generated about 1/100 of the offense that Green did and still does. He made a number of glaring mistakes, including one
during Game 1 of the quarterfinals against the Rangers that's too painful to go back and watch.
So, I had my reasons to criticize the Caps organization for keeping him with the big leagues while more talented, wave-of-the-future
blueliners like Karl Alzner and John Carlson chilled in the minors. But, funny how, given the clean slate that is the start
of a promising new season, one is able to indulge in their talents and prove their harshest critics wrong. In short, "Sarge"
Schultz is now awesome.
I want Jeff Schultz out there with the game on the line. I want him out there on the penalty
kill. I want him out there anytime the announcers are having a discussion about the Caps defense and their shut-down abilities.
I want him subbing for the recently-suspended Gilbert Arenas since I think he's taller than Wild Gil anyway. I want him to
start shooting the puck more from the point, to hear the collective gasp of "aw shit, look who's gone to Norris Candidate
from BORE-iss candidate." (See what I did there?)
The stats were staring in my face the whole time. Since
the 04-05 lockout, Sarge has accumulated a +53. The next-highest Cap is Mike Green, who is +30 overall. Keep in mind how much
the Caps sucked until Glen Hanlon was fired and Gabby was hired in November 2007. As of this writing, Schultz is second in
the league on the season in +/- with +23, trailing only some guy who plays with named Alex Ovechkin. Does anybody know who
that is? Apparently, he's on pace for 50 goals, which makes Schultz's accomplishments even more fantastic. No...Schultztastic.
God, that's good.
Anyway, consider this my official admission of being a converted former Schultz-hater. I know
now the error of my ways. Schultz's longtime supporters claimed that he had a style of play that made it nearly impossible
to notice when he was doing well and impossible to miss when he screwed up. That's still true. He just doesn't really screw
up anymore.
Alright, I was hoping to get this up before 2010 hit, but stuff happens and I don't make a penny off of this website, so
here are my twenty favorite songs since the ball dropped and Jesus turned 2000 years old. Hope you like them!
20. Hot Water Music - "Wayfarer" (2002) _ One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands
of all time, 90’s southern punk stalwarts who kept on powering through well into this decade. Chuck Ragan’s gruff,
bearded vocals exude that whole positive, f-yeah mentality over chugging guitar riffs that starts well on its way to 9 and
moves between there and 11 for almost three minutes. And of course, the universal sound of “11” is spirited group
vocals of “WHOA-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-AH-OH… WHOOOOOOA WHOA-OH WHOA-OH WHOA-OH WOAH-AH-OH!
19. The Slackers - "International War Criminal" (2006) _ Vic Ruggiero has been one of my favorite songwriters for a very long time, and it seems like it took
him a while to get overtly political. It wasn’t until Bush got re-“elected” in 2004 that the latter-day
beatnik New Yawkah started venting his anger at the administration, nuclear paranoia, and of course, what a damn unfair place
this planet can be. 2006’s Peculiar took a big step in the topical direction, and Ruggiero and his crew’s extensive
talents did not disappoint, especially in the iconoclastic “International War Criminal.” As far as jumpy, tuneful
ska protest songs go, this is even better than “Free Nelson Mandela.” Now, Nelson Mandela is out of jail and became
the president of South Africa. I’m still waiting on Cheney and Rumsfeld to get condemned and thrown in jail by the ICC…
not holding my breath on that one, though.
18. Kanye West - "Gold Digger" feat. Jamie Foxx (2006) _ Anyone out there NOT want to kick Kanye
West in the teeth? Raise your hands. Okay, now, anyone not think that this song absolutely destroys and should fill the dance
floor and move some asses wherever it goes? There we go. Kanye backs up his braggadocio with this track, complete with the
help of Ugly Wanda himself, one of the most striking beats ever created, and completely necessary use of the N-word. Sorry, broke-broke. WINK.
I don't care what side of that whole Taylor Swift thing you were on; she will NEVER write or record a song as good as this.
17. Passion Pit - "To Kingdom Come" (2009) _ Regardless of whether anyone remembers Passion
Pit by 2020, Michael Angelakos (who reminds me of John Belushi for some reason) will be one of this decades prototypical success
stories. Boy writes songs for girl, boy receives hype from many girls (and boys), boy loses girl but gains national danceable
fame, boy records decent album with a some good songs and one spectacular one. Boy’s falsetto, which borders on annoying
elsewhere, is absolutely perfect here during a joyful chorus, which comes complete with backing right out of the Kick Horn
School. Public not entirely sure what to think, but hearing what boy is capable of, they give boy benefit of the doubt.
16. Be My Doppelganger - "Convertible Girls" (2007) _ I've that the mid-90’s was probably the golden age of pop punk, but these last few years haven’t
been bad for it, either. Case in point is this band from tiny Evansville, IN. They haven’t been as active recently,
but put out a 7” a couple of years ago, mostly to have something new to sell at The No Idea Fest in Gainesville, I suppose.
For a lot of pop-punk bands, success is still a relatively regional thing, and The Fest, as well as Insubordination Fest in
Baltimore are a couple of the relatively few high-profile opportunities that exist for small-time pop-punk bands to show their
stuff. A lot of great bands have sparkled and faded over this decade because of it (The Ergs! And Chinese Telephones are
two prime examples), but “Convertible Girls” wins the coveted “best pop-punk single of the decade”
award. It’s basically a top-down, crushing guitar-lead, hook you to death, kind of rock n’ roll song that gets
everything right. And it’s a high-octane summer anthem that would make Brian Wilson proud, too.
15. Aesop Rock - "Daylight," "Save Yourself," "Flash Flood" and "No Regrets"
(2001) _ Have you ever picked up a book and couldn’t stop reading it until you finally look up and realize
you have about 4 hours to sleep before your alarm is set to go off? Well, that’s what tracks 2-5 of Labor Days
is like for me. I’m not saying that Long Islander (and it bleeds through in his accent occasionally) Ian Bavitz was
the definitive best rapper of the decade, but this was the best sequence of songs I heard on any hip-hop record this decade
at least. I originally had “No Regrets,” the creepy violin-plucking story of a misfit girl named Lucy, as the
chosen track because it was the most unique in subject matter. But upon another listen, I couldn’t decide which of these
tracks was the true standout. “Save Yourself” has the inimitable, tongue-tying breakdown that Aesop does ¾
of the way through it, “Flash Flood” has some of the most haunting, well-modulated samples on anything in the
Def Jux catalogue, and “Daylight” has THAT LINE. (You know it…it’s at 2:43).
14. Dinosaur Jr - "We're Not Alone" (2007) _ Comeback of the decade, hands-down. J Mascis, Lou
Barlow, and Murph taught us all a valuable lesson. If you really are meant to be a band and create, then your petty squabbles
ain’t that big of a deal. The trio, known for a throat-grabbing breakup while in their 20’s, come back as middle-aged
men and tear our faces off with the power of rock. Yes, they still do “got it,” and if you don’t think that
J Mascis’ two-minute long solo here isn’t the best guitar work of this decade, then you really, truly suck. Seeing
them on their reunion tour in New Orleans was worth the permanent hearing damage.
13. The Ergs! - "Books About Miles Davis" (2007) _ If there’s one band I’m more grateful
to have discovered this decade than any other, it would be the Ergs! I was lucky enough to see them a handful of times before
their untimely dissolution in 2008. “Books about Miles Davis” is the Ergs! throwing down the gauntlet of maturity
in a pop-punk scene that eschews such a notion in many ways. The three jersey dorks who combined equal parts Descendents,
early Replacements, and Husker Du into their music pour their hearts out over a pop song driven mostly by Jeffrey Erg!’s
solo guitar until drummer/singer Mikey and bassist Joey unleash everything they’ve bottled up for about 10 manic seconds,
then breathe again. Come back, Ergs! We need you!
12. The Dismemberment Plan - "Ellen and Ben" (2001) _ This oft-overlooked story-song is probably my favorite in the Dismemberment Plan’s entire ridiculously
good catalog. Incidentally enough, this stream of consciousness-style story of a couple who fade from the scene wound up being
the DC spazzers’ relatively laid-back farewell track. I’ve known people like Ellen and Ben. They get together
with such low expectations that they become so codependent that they don’t need anyone else anymore. Actually, I feel
like we’ve all known people like Ellen and Ben, which is why Travis Morrison hits the nail on the head. Having spent
my young, post-college years in DC, I understand their perspectives in some bizarre way. The swan song’s final line,
“Call me when you can now, you know I always love a surprise,” and the tangential interlude about model planes
and ‘the ocean city girls’ are wonderful. I’m not even going to try to explain those, though.
11. Plushgun - "Just Impolite" (2007) _ “Who IS this, anyway?” “Yeah,
I was just wondering, it’s really good!” No matter how prescient music blogs become, no matter how trivialized
and self-destructive that the radio industry becomes, we will always have these “Who is this?” “Yeah, I
like it!” moments. That’s what happened to me and my friend Hampton at the Arlington Drafthouse one night last year. We were waiting for
a comedy show to start while the house tech guy was playing the soundtrack to Ryan Geilen’s indie film “The Graduates.”
This song stuck out like a beam of light on the soundtrack of a lot of local indie and folk bands. “Just Impolite”
turned up in an Apple commercial soon thereafter. Those ads became the barometer for what’s not cool to like anymore,
but screw that. If a band gets enough exposure from an Apple Ad to sell millions of records, it doesn’t mean that the
band is guaranteed respect or influence (see: Jet…remember them? Well, now you do). Basically, what Dan Ingala (aka
Plushgun) taught me was how important it is to let yourself love a song before you’ve had a chance to build up prejudice.
Once the internet became the main conduit for music, it didn’t rise above the damage MTV had done (even when it was
playing music videos). The music industry is just as fickle and image-based. When I see a photo of a bunch of disaffected,
scruffy hipsters from Brooklyn, I will probably click away rather than spend a few minutes listening to their “dark,
angular, mystical, pop anthem.” I’ve listened to enough mp3s and too many shitty Sub Pop 7”s to know that
it’s often enough a waste of time. Call me a bad person or compare me to Peter O’Toole in Ratatouille, but I don’t
care. So many young people have laptops, and free/cheap access to software that can easily create songs like this. What’s
not easy, however, is creating songs this great. I don’t know what it is about Ingala that makes him rise above a lot
of the other white, bespectacled, loners from Brooklyn who are good with keyboards and computer software. Oh wait, I do- “Just
Impolite.” From the pulsing opening (heart)beat that sounds like the song begins right after sprinting for 400 yards,
Ingala hits all the right keys and processed power chords, and talks about the dangers and benefits of a codependent relationship
(I think). It builds up, it releases, and it keeps jogging along. If a billion mp3s of shitty digital indie pop are what it
takes to get one song as good as “Just Impolite,” I’ll take it.
10. Radiohead - "Like Spinning Plates" Live Version (2001) _ Don’t get me wrong, the LP
version on Amnesiac is pretty good too (music critics of America, I want your acceptance, clearly. If I didn’t,
I’d go on about how it’s…aight). Radiohead are good; there’s nobody who doesn’t think that.
They’re probably the greatest band of all time, depending on which music writer you talk to and how recently they’ve
jacked off to the sound of Thom Yorke’s voice on a loop with some light electronic percussion. So how do I cite a specifically
live version of a song as my favorite track from them since the mid-90’s? Because when Thom Yorke plays it on the piano,
it’s the most haunting thing you’ve probably ever heard. It’s one of those songs that’s a complete
showstopper, and this comes from a band with a catalog full of those. Sorry that I couldn’t include a song that actually
utilizes the full band, but this track, despite it being pretty much just Yorke, has got the Radiohead stamp all over it.
It’s like the band are standing there, around him, in spirit whenever he pours into this. They’re probably backstage
drinking and waiting for their cue to return and play “House of Cards” or something but you know…
9. Black Kids - "I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend
How to Dance with You" Demo (2007) _ What’s this!? A band that sounds like The Cure if they were in fact
the Go! Team!? From Jacksonville? Led by a charismatic black dude named Reggie and his keyboard-playing sister? This band
is the shit! This song has all the makings of a classic! I can’t wait for them to play in town! They’re playing
the Black Cat in 4 months!? Nice! Oh, it’s sold out!!? Crazy. Ah, well!! Look at those festivals they’re playing
the UK!! They must be getting ready to blow up stateside!! Good news, since we could use more bands that sound happy, positive,
and write songs this uplifting with kind of dumb but lyrics that put a big smile on your face! And that doo-doodoo-doodoo-doodoodoo
group vocals part at the end?? How could this band fuck up now!? What’s that, a major label debut produced by the dude who used to be in Suede!? Um… it’s kinda glossy.
And not in the good way. The new version of “I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You”
is good, because the song is awesome, but… no, no, they’re not a bad band, don’t get me wrong. Just…
disposable just like all the others in the day and age. Oh, hey…now you’re all starting to pretend you never
liked them? Sad, sad, sad. At least we’ll remember them for the Wizard of Ahhs demo. I’ll always consider this
demo a classic, though. A classic of the era of promising bands getting chewed up and spit out by the always-conniving hype
machine. Sigh.
8. Animal Collective - "My Girls" (2009) _
There are a lot of things I hate about this "band," which is understandable considering how divisive they've been in the indie community. When they're bad, which is often, they are horrible and pretentious. But when they are good, they
are REALLY REALLY good. "My Girls" is REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GOOD. As in, undeniably, shuffle your feet, clap to
the beat, marvel-at-what-they're-capable-of good. Noah Lennox aka Panda Bear (the group's kinda-secret weapon) sings lead
about how he wants a nice house in Portugal for his wife and daughter, apparently. Honestly, the vocals here are almost like
an instrument on their own, kind of like how Cocteau Twins used to do early on albums like Treasure. What I'm trying
to say is, well done, you bastards. Now, let's all agree to stop using the term 'collective' in general 2010.
7. Elliott - "Drive On To Me" (2000) _
I miss the 90’s. Yes, it’s because I view them with a sort of halcyon innocence that comes with being an adolescent.
Let me finish. I’ve gone on record referring to the mid-90’s as the pop-punk golden age, and the late 90’s
as the emo golden age. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that I think “Emo” really means anything, but let’s put
it all into perspective. When Green Day exploded in 1994, billions of kids with guitars realized they had a window of opportunity.
When Sunny Day Real Estate cried out Diary that same year, billions of kids with guitars generally didn’t give
a shit. In retrospect, though, the 90’s was an era when the metaphorical heart-on-sleeve was fashionable but not yet
really fucking annoying. When Rolling Stone printed the word “emo” in their front-page review of Jimmy Eat World’s
“Bleed American” on August 16, 2001, I remember thinking it was all over. And in a lot of ways, it was. Most of
the top bands who grudgingly accepted “emo” as a tag either fizzled or started exploring other genres, such as
boringcore, suckcore, and Christ,theyusedtobegoodcore. Elliott sort of did the former. They kept on playing, but their 2000
album False Cathedrals was the last breath of fresh air for the 90’s legitimate underground “wah-wah
my pain and sadness is so artsy and myopic” movement. “Drive On to Me” was the most radio-friendly and genuinely
great power ballad from the Louisville sluggers’ piano-loaded departure. Yes, I just called it a power ballad. I don’t
know how else to refer to it. It starts with a gorgeous jangly guitar intro, piano starts to flow in, and the quintet waste
no time before they all crash into each other beautifully (get it? Cause it’s called “Drive On to Me!”…cry).
Think of this the launching pad for genuine young-adult contemporary.
6. The Exploding Hearts - "Modern Kicks" (2002)
_ Much like pondering what could have been with Joy Division if Ian Curtis hadn’t taken his own life, you can’t
help but wonder where Portland’s Exploding Hearts would be if their driver hadn’t fatally skidded on some gravel
early in the morning of July 20, 2003. The Hearts didn’t sell a fraction as many records as the decade’s other great tragedies like Aaliyah and Jam Master
Jay, but their legacy on the Northwest rock scene is legendary, thanks in no small part to this rager. They borrowed unabashedly
from the sneering British bands like the Buzzcocks and the Boys and regurgitated something completely charming and firing
on all cylinders, against all of the stylistic and played-out odds. You can tell how much they loved classic punk and the
joy they got out of the simple art of being loud and jangly. To paraphrase Bill Hicks, John Pike? Dead. Clark Sabine? Dead. The Exploding Hearts? Dead. Hinder? Alive, well, and selling millions of records. You know what this means, right? The lone
survivor of that van accident, Terry Six, must become a serial killer and take out bad bands. He’ll be like the ‘Dexter’
of music.
5. The Twilight Sad - "And She Would Darken the Memory" (2007) _ Scotland! I’ve never been
there, but according to varying accounts, it’s shitty, rainy, grey, and even the nice parts like the highlands are available
in sunnier varieties in places like Cyprus. Good thing that Scottish people are responsible for some of the most beautiful,
groundbreaking, and heartstopping music ever! And The Twilight Sad are a band that don’t let you forget for a nanosecond
that they’re more Scottish than a band could even imagine being. They’ve got the pop sensibility of Jesus &
Mary Chain or Belle & Sebastian, the ear-shitting-splitting noise of Mogwai, and singer James Graham sings in a brogue
so think you want to dress this song up in a kilt and make it do a sword-dance for you. This is the band’s best contribution
so far: a sprawling, crashing, “Fuck you, person’s ears!” mountain that you climb up and then fly off. But
not in the suicide way. You’ve got wings in this story. Their art work rules, too.
4. Dizzee Rascal - "2 Far" feat. Wiley (2003) _ Oim da fitniss instructah! That could be the
line in some obscure Monty Python sketch about a cockney guy who breaks into a gym and goes to town on some girls in the workout
room. Or, it could be a helium-laced sound byte by an East London rapper who brags about the time he got stabbed. The second
door has the prize behind it. The prize is this amazing, schizophrenic, hyper-charged, clinking slab of grime. You can totally
picture Dizzee Rascal and Wiley having a West Side Story-type knife fight to this song… as they battle-rap. It’s
just that frenetic. In case any of you aren’t acquainted with grime, it’s a media-bred word that basically means,
“really interesting British rap that you can’t dance to, so don’t try.”
3. Ted Leo & the Pharmacists - "Under the Hedge" (2001) _ Considering how Ted Leo may be one of the most talented guitarists and songsters in indierock-dom,
citing one track as the best song he’s ever written may be a little risky, but… “Under the Hedge”
is the best song he’s ever written. Better than that song about the Specials that everyone loves, better than that song
on “Shake the Sheets” where he says “It’s alright” and repeats the same guitar cadence for 2
straight minutes. The song with the beautiful guitar lead-ins and lyrics that say all the right things at the right times
(this one) wins the Ted Leo masterpiece death-match. If you are sad or depressed or pissed off, listen to this song and it
will take the edge off, no question. True story.
2. Paul Westerberg - "Let's Not Belong" (2001) _ I don’t know if he released this under
his own name, or Grandpaboy, or what, but what matter is that no one other than Paul Westerberg could have made this song.
I’ll even go so far to say that it’s the best song he’s written since Reagan was in office. And that’s
a heavy statement, considering that this is the guy who I consider the greatest American songwriter since Bob Dylan. I also
think he’s written plenty of genuinely great songs since the Replacements sputtered and failed during the tempestuous
reign of Bush I. He’s also turned in a lot of crap, but so would Bob Dylan if he didn’t give a shit and recorded
all of his instruments himself in his home basement while his son was off at school. Westerberg made not giving a shit a fine
art, despite the fact that it did him much more harm than good in the long run.
Anyway, he just turned 50 on the last day of the decade, and his accomplishments
remain astounding. “Let’s Not Belong” encapsulates all of his latter-day capabilities with a driving rhythm,
wonderfully catchy hooks, and of course, those lyrics that make you wonder why nobody’s put those words together before.
Some people just have a knack for it. Where the #1 song on this list encapsulates everything new and exciting about certain
frontiers of music, the #2 song is a satisfying reminder that even some people well past their prime are still kick-your-face
relevant, and good. I wish he’d have his old buddy Tommy Stinson tell that to Axl Rose.
1. The Streets - "Don't Mug Yourself" (2002) _ My history with this song is not unlike a common
history people have with their spouses. (Hear me out). When I first heard Original Pirate Material, I thought it
was shite. It wasn’t the oddly refreshing but annoying sound of hearing a British guy rap. It was the way that Mike
Skinner did it in such a cocksure, cockney, way. It seemed like a bad novelty to this college sophomore at the time. Then
my friend Pete’s disc reached track nine and I heard “Don’t Mug Yourself” for the first time. I checked
myself immediately.
I don’t think “Don’t Mug Yourself” was Skinner’s biggest hit
from his first full-length, but it was the one song on there so good that it makes his entire catalog make sense to the casual
listener. He pulls out one of the most magnetic electro beats I’ve ever heard and creates a sonic ode to giving your
girl some breathing room, a lesson that any guy should take. Skinner and his friend Calvin Bailey bounce back and forth and
the result is a terrific funny pop song (or an awesome musical comedy sketch, if you choose) that strikes, does its job, and
gets the hell out and makes you want to go back and listen again and again.
Here’s why it beat out a ton
of great, great songs to make it to the top of my list for the Aughts. In the first decade where the internet was the biggest
conduit for music both new and old, I felt like I needed to create a whole new set of criteria for judging music. For the
first time in my life, I felt completely overwhelmed due to the Pitchfork Age, and it gave me a whole new chance to reexamine
a lot of artists through their sense of humor and timelessness of their music. Because, let’s face it, a lot of the
bands (even a few on my singles list) are pretty disposable. Despite the whole spate of British electro and house/rap/whatever
artists, Skinner’s done something pretty remarkable, and off-kilter as it is, I still think it’s the best pop
song I’ve heard this decade.
So, I had my reasons to criticize the Caps organization for keeping him with the big leagues while more talented, wave-of-the-future
blueliners like Karl Alzner and John Carlson chilled in the minors. But, funny how, given the clean slate that is the start
of a promising new season, one is able to indulge in their talents and prove their harshest critics wrong. In short, "Sarge"
Schultz is now awesome.
Oh, and Tom Poti still sucks.
20. Hot Water Music - "Wayfarer" (2002) _ One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands
of all time, 90’s southern punk stalwarts who kept on powering through well into this decade. Chuck Ragan’s gruff,
bearded vocals exude that whole positive, f-yeah mentality over chugging guitar riffs that starts well on its way to 9 and
moves between there and 11 for almost three minutes. And of course, the universal sound of “11” is spirited group
vocals of “WHOA-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-AH-OH… WHOOOOOOA WHOA-OH WHOA-OH WHOA-OH WOAH-AH-OH!
19. The Slackers - "
18. Kanye West - "Gold Digger" feat. Jamie Foxx (2006) _ Anyone out there NOT want to kick Kanye
West in the teeth? Raise your hands. Okay, now, anyone not think that this song absolutely destroys and should fill the dance
floor and move some asses wherever it goes? There we go. Kanye backs up his braggadocio with this track, complete with the
help of 
17. Passion Pit - "To Kingdom Come" (2009) _ Regardless of whether anyone remembers Passion
Pit by 2020, Michael Angelakos (who reminds me of John Belushi for some reason) will be one of this decades prototypical success
stories. Boy writes songs for girl, boy receives hype from many girls (and boys), boy loses girl but gains national danceable
fame, boy records decent album with a some good songs and one spectacular one. Boy’s falsetto, which borders on annoying
elsewhere, is absolutely perfect here during a joyful chorus, which comes complete with backing right out of the Kick Horn
School. Public not entirely sure what to think, but hearing what boy is capable of, they give boy benefit of the doubt.
16. Be My Doppelganger - "
15. Aesop Rock - "Daylight," "Save Yourself," "Flash Flood" and "No Regrets"
(2001) _ Have you ever picked up a book and couldn’t stop reading it until you finally look up and realize
you have about 4 hours to sleep before your alarm is set to go off? Well, that’s what tracks 2-5 of Labor Days
is like for me. I’m not saying that Long Islander (and it bleeds through in his accent occasionally) Ian Bavitz was
the definitive best rapper of the decade, but this was the best sequence of songs I heard on any hip-hop record this decade
at least. I originally had “No Regrets,” the creepy violin-plucking story of a misfit girl named Lucy, as the
chosen track because it was the most unique in subject matter. But upon another listen, I couldn’t decide which of these
tracks was the true standout. “Save Yourself” has the inimitable, tongue-tying breakdown that Aesop does ¾
of the way through it, “Flash Flood” has some of the most haunting, well-modulated samples on anything in the
Def Jux catalogue, and “Daylight” has THAT LINE. (You know it…
14. Dinosaur Jr - "We're Not Alone" (2007) _ Comeback of the decade, hands-down. J Mascis, Lou
Barlow, and Murph taught us all a valuable lesson. If you really are meant to be a band and create, then your petty squabbles
ain’t that big of a deal. The trio, known for a throat-grabbing breakup while in their 20’s, come back as middle-aged
men and tear our faces off with the power of rock. Yes, they still do “got it,” and if you don’t think that
J Mascis’ two-minute long solo here isn’t the best guitar work of this decade, then you really, truly suck. Seeing
them on their reunion tour in New Orleans was worth the permanent hearing damage. 
13. The Ergs! - "Books About Miles Davis" (2007) _ If there’s one band I’m more grateful
to have discovered this decade than any other, it would be the Ergs! I was lucky enough to see them a handful of times before
their untimely dissolution in 2008. “Books about Miles Davis” is the Ergs! throwing down the gauntlet of maturity
in a pop-punk scene that eschews such a notion in many ways. The three jersey dorks who combined equal parts Descendents,
early Replacements, and Husker Du into their music pour their hearts out over a pop song driven mostly by Jeffrey Erg!’s
solo guitar until drummer/singer Mikey and bassist Joey unleash everything they’ve bottled up for about 10 manic seconds,
then breathe again. Come back, Ergs! We need you! 
That’s what happened to me and my friend Hampton at the Arlington Drafthouse one night last year. We were waiting for
a comedy show to start while the house tech guy was playing the soundtrack to Ryan Geilen’s indie film “The Graduates.”
This song stuck out like a beam of light on the soundtrack of a lot of local indie and folk bands. “Just Impolite”
turned up in an Apple commercial soon thereafter. Those ads became the barometer for what’s not cool to like anymore,
but screw that. If a band gets enough exposure from an Apple Ad to sell millions of records, it doesn’t mean that the
band is guaranteed respect or influence (see: Jet…remember them? Well, now you do). Basically, what Dan Ingala (aka
Plushgun) taught me was how important it is to let yourself love a song before you’ve had a chance to build up prejudice.
Once the internet became the main conduit for music, it didn’t rise above the damage MTV had done (even when it was
playing music videos). The music industry is just as fickle and image-based. When I see a photo of a bunch of disaffected,
scruffy hipsters from Brooklyn, I will probably click away rather than spend a few minutes listening to their “dark,
angular, mystical, pop anthem.” I’ve listened to enough mp3s and too many shitty Sub Pop 7”s to know that
it’s often enough a waste of time. Call me a bad person or compare me to Peter O’Toole in Ratatouille, but I don’t
care. So many young people have laptops, and free/cheap access to software that can easily create songs like this. What’s
not easy, however, is creating songs this great. I don’t know what it is about Ingala that makes him rise above a lot
of the other white, bespectacled, loners from Brooklyn who are good with keyboards and computer software. Oh wait, I do- “Just
Impolite.” From the pulsing opening (heart)beat that sounds like the song begins right after sprinting for 400 yards,
Ingala hits all the right keys and processed power chords, and talks about the dangers and benefits of a codependent relationship
(I think). It builds up, it releases, and it keeps jogging along. If a billion mp3s of shitty digital indie pop are what it
takes to get one song as good as “Just Impolite,” I’ll take it. 
10. Radiohead - "Like Spinning Plates" Live Version (2001) _ Don’t get me wrong, the LP
version on Amnesiac is pretty good too (music critics of America, I want your acceptance, clearly. If I didn’t,
I’d go on about how it’s…aight). Radiohead are good; there’s nobody who doesn’t think that.
They’re probably the greatest band of all time, depending on which music writer you talk to and how recently they’ve
jacked off to the sound of Thom Yorke’s voice on a loop with some light electronic percussion. So how do I cite a specifically
live version of a song as my favorite track from them since the mid-90’s? Because when Thom Yorke plays it on the piano,
it’s the most haunting thing you’ve probably ever heard. It’s one of those songs that’s a complete
showstopper, and this comes from a band with a catalog full of those. Sorry that I couldn’t include a song that actually
utilizes the full band, but this track, despite it being pretty much just Yorke, has got the Radiohead stamp all over it.
It’s like the band are standing there, around him, in spirit whenever he pours into this. They’re probably backstage
drinking and waiting for their cue to return and play “House of Cards” or something but you know…
I don’t want to give anyone the impression that I think “Emo” really means anything, but let’s put
it all into perspective. When Green Day exploded in 1994, billions of kids with guitars realized they had a window of opportunity.
When Sunny Day Real Estate cried out Diary that same year, billions of kids with guitars generally didn’t give
a shit. In retrospect, though, the 90’s was an era when the metaphorical heart-on-sleeve was fashionable but not yet
really fucking annoying. When Rolling Stone printed the word “emo” in their front-page review of Jimmy Eat World’s
“Bleed American” on August 16, 2001, I remember thinking it was all over. And in a lot of ways, it was. Most of
the top bands who grudgingly accepted “emo” as a tag either fizzled or started exploring other genres, such as
boringcore, suckcore, and Christ,theyusedtobegoodcore. Elliott sort of did the former. They kept on playing, but their 2000
album False Cathedrals was the last breath of fresh air for the 90’s legitimate underground “wah-wah
my pain and sadness is so artsy and myopic” movement. “Drive On to Me” was the most radio-friendly and genuinely
great power ballad from the Louisville sluggers’ piano-loaded departure. Yes, I just called it a power ballad. I don’t
know how else to refer to it. It starts with a gorgeous jangly guitar intro, piano starts to flow in, and the quintet waste
no time before they all crash into each other beautifully (get it? Cause it’s called “Drive On to Me!”…cry).
Think of this the launching pad for genuine young-adult contemporary.
The Hearts didn’t sell a fraction as many records as the decade’s other great tragedies like Aaliyah and Jam Master
Jay, but their legacy on the Northwest rock scene is legendary, thanks in no small part to this rager. They borrowed unabashedly
from the sneering British bands like the Buzzcocks and the Boys and regurgitated something completely charming and firing
on all cylinders, against all of the stylistic and played-out odds. You can tell how much they loved classic punk and the
joy they got out of the simple art of being loud and jangly. To paraphrase Bill Hicks, John Pike? 
5. The Twilight Sad - "And She Would Darken the Memory" (2007) _ Scotland! I’ve never been
there, but according to varying accounts, it’s shitty, rainy, grey, and even the nice parts like the highlands are available
in sunnier varieties in places like Cyprus. Good thing that Scottish people are responsible for some of the most beautiful,
groundbreaking, and heartstopping music ever! And The Twilight Sad are a band that don’t let you forget for a nanosecond
that they’re more Scottish than a band could even imagine being. They’ve got the pop sensibility of Jesus &
Mary Chain or Belle & Sebastian, the ear-shitting-splitting noise of Mogwai, and singer James Graham sings in a brogue
so think you want to dress this song up in a kilt and make it do a sword-dance for you. This is the band’s best contribution
so far: a sprawling, crashing, “Fuck you, person’s ears!” mountain that you climb up and then fly off. But
not in the suicide way. You’ve got wings in this story. Their art work rules, too.
4. Dizzee Rascal - "2 Far" feat. Wiley (2003) _ Oim da fitniss instructah! That could be the
line in some obscure Monty Python sketch about a cockney guy who breaks into a gym and goes to town on some girls in the workout
room. Or, it could be a helium-laced sound byte by an East London rapper who brags about the time he got stabbed. The second
door has the prize behind it. The prize is this amazing, schizophrenic, hyper-charged, clinking slab of grime. You can totally
picture Dizzee Rascal and Wiley having a West Side Story-type knife fight to this song… as they battle-rap. It’s
just that frenetic. In case any of you aren’t acquainted with grime, it’s a media-bred word that basically means,
“really interesting British rap that you can’t dance to, so don’t try.”
3. Ted Leo & the Pharmacists - "
2. Paul Westerberg - "Let's Not Belong" (2001) _ I don’t know if he released this under
his own name, or Grandpaboy, or what, but what matter is that no one other than Paul Westerberg could have made this song.
I’ll even go so far to say that it’s the best song he’s written since Reagan was in office. And that’s
a heavy statement, considering that this is the guy who I consider the greatest American songwriter since Bob Dylan. I also
think he’s written plenty of genuinely great songs since the Replacements sputtered and failed during the tempestuous
reign of Bush I. He’s also turned in a lot of crap, but so would Bob Dylan if he didn’t give a shit and recorded
all of his instruments himself in his home basement while his son was off at school. Westerberg made not giving a shit a fine
art, despite the fact that it did him much more harm than good in the long run.
1. The Streets - "Don't Mug Yourself" (2002) _ My history with this song is not unlike a common
history people have with their spouses. (Hear me out). When I first heard Original Pirate Material, I thought it
was shite. It wasn’t the oddly refreshing but annoying sound of hearing a British guy rap. It was the way that Mike
Skinner did it in such a cocksure, cockney, way. It seemed like a bad novelty to this college sophomore at the time. Then
my friend Pete’s disc reached track nine and I heard “Don’t Mug Yourself” for the first time. I checked
myself immediately.
